Did I push it too far?

After reading this awesome and thought provoking post by Midwife Thinking, I've had some realisations about my birth experience with Little R.

I had a wonderful home birth experience with my second daughter and the ONLY thing I feel I would do differently next time is the 2nd stage.
I was under the belief that pushing hard over the top of your body's urges was the only way to get the baby out. After more research I am convinced that following your body’s urges, whether it be to push hard one contraction and just lightly the next, is the best and most logical way to birth our babies. Our bodies know how to gently guide our babies all the way through the first stage of labour, why then do we think we’d need to get all aggressive and force them out as soon as we feel 2nd stage urges??? It may have a lot to do with social conditioning, this is the way it’s generally depicted in movies and stories about birthing, but when you really think about it, it just doesn’t make that much sense. A baby will generally always come out even if the mother does not push at all, so responding to this stage in a way that feels natural can only benefit both mother and baby.
I also had a cervical lip (suspected as blood was entering the water on pushing, no VE’s to confirm, I find them pointless) and was advised I should breathe through the next contractions and wait for the cervix to fully dilate, I never even questioned it until reading this post.
As a result after a while I did start to question my ability to read my own body’s messages. Did I really need to push, or was my body just tricking me? Should I go with it or fight it in case the timing isn’t ‘right’? On reflection now when I did start to push, I was doubted that I was doing it right, and pushed really hard with only one thing in mind, to get the baby out fast. I think in the back of my mind I thought if I didn’t get her out quickly it would mean my body had been tricking me again and I had failed. Although my midwives didn’t direct pushing, these words were said and stuck with me through the 2nd stage “The way this works is the harder you push, the faster your baby is born”. I feel I went over the top of my natural urges to ensure this would happen so I wouldn’t disappoint anyone, and probably could've had a more enjoyable 2nd stage if I had just relaxed and followed my body's cues.
I don't regret not knowing this before my birth, and thoroughly enjoyed the experience. These are just my recent reflections that I feel the need to express in order to process them fully. :)

Thanks for 'listening'
quirkymama x